[ sung by Sgt. Karelli ]

I got my problems, same as you,
Guess that makes me human too.
I got a family and I got friends
and a little grey haired Mom
who sends me socks and sweaters, scarves and gloves,
I got a little puppy dog who loves me -
it`s about so big
ooh, how can you call me a pig?

I live in a downtown bungalow
It`s in a modest little row
with tulips and roses and flowers like that
Got a talking parrot and a purring cat
and my kids don`t need to ask for a thing
I just got them a record by that guy Sting -
My heart`s that big -
Ooh, how can you call me a pig?

Now why do you call me 'The Fuzz'?
Is it because of my excess hair?
Why should I care?
I don`t know why it should hurt
but it does
Why do you call me the 'The Fuzz'?

If something comes up to keep me late
I call my wife and say: 'Hon, don`t wait.'
But I know she`s waiting just for me
in her brand-new nylon negligee.
Well, I think about her all the time
With my night-stick for preventing crime
and my CD rig.
Ooh, how can you call me a pig?

Don`t call me pig
don`t call me pig
all right...

© Robert Calvert
vocals: Pete Pavli
[ roll over the animations for sound ]

[ listen to the complete song ]
sounds: orig. backing-tape + live performance rec.

The Kid... + Works + Robert Calvert